We have to understand Brahmacarya and Grhastha asramas in the context of the
spiritual or Daiva Varnasrama as chalked out by the Vaisnava spiritual
masters. Opposed to daiva varnasrama is aasura varnasrama. This is demoniac
because it does not take us to Lord Krishna. Rather it takes us to the path
of sense enjoyment. It is called pravrtti-maarga or smaarta. Daiva
Varnasrama is nivrtti-maarga. In Daiva Varnasrama, all members have the
common goal of making spiritual advancement and detaching ourselves from the
illusory forms of maya and to attain spiritual realization. It is based on
attaching ourselves to Krsna and getting detachment from Maya.

It is very important for the Brahmacaris and Grhasthas to understand the
principles of each others asrama. Both have to develop proper respect
towards and harmony with each other's asramas.

The process of Vedic education has the following 4 steps of learning:
1. Hearing (or sravana)
2. Understanding (or manana or jnaana)
3. Realization (or upalabdhi or vijnaana)
4. Teaching based on realization or siksaa

The difference between understanding and realization is that in the stage of
realization ones activities have changed because they are based on his
realization and they are from one who simply has understood theoretically
the Vedic teachings and who hasn't changed his behavior despite his
theoretical understanding.

Now the Brahmacaris are trained to hear (sravana) and to understand
(jnaana). Since the goal of daiva varnasrama is to develop spiritual
realization, it is essential that one develops a taste for Krsna
consciousness and a distaste towards illusion. Thus the brahmacaris are
trained in this way.

There are two levels of brahmacarya and two kinds of brahmacarya.

The two kinds of brahmacaris are called the naisthika brahmacari and the
upakurvaana brahmacari. They are in the first level of brahmacarya.

The naisthika brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has understood
about Krsna and maya; and he has developed realization about Krsna and maya.
Therefore he has a taste for KC and distaste for maya.

The upakurvaana brahmacari has heard about Krsna and maya; he has also
understood about Krsna and maya from the hearing; but he hasn't developed
realization of Krsna and maya. Due to previous mental habits and
conditioning, he still thinks that there is some substantial pleasure in a
woman's association. Still, because he has understood the Veda, he practices
KC seriously and in an appropriate time and manner he will take up grhastha
asrama. Therefore he prepares to enter into KC household life.

Both the naisthika and upakurvaana are in the first level of brahmacarya
because both of them have understood that pure KC is worthwhile and pursuit
of pleasure in maya is not but the upakurvaana's mental conditioning from
the past doesn't fully convince him of that and prevents him from developing
realization. Still, because they have understood from the Veda, they are
considered first class.

The naisthika brahmacari hears that association with the opposite sex is
like a deep dark well. [At this point in class, Giri Govardhan das, a
Grhastha devotee, laughs loudly. Maharaja says, "See, this is called
realization. We are talking and the brahmacaris are listening. They are not
saying anything but he has the realization that the household asrama is a
blind well and is laughing. This is realization."]

Anyway, but because the naisthika brahmacari is so strong in KC and is
endowed with humility, immense service attitude and tolerance, he realizes
that association with the opposite gender is not really worthwhile simply by
hearing seriously. He is simple. During [Annual Gaura Purnima] Festival
time, when he is asked to leave the first floor of the brahmacari asrama
[for the visiting devotees], he does it without grudges. And when the
[Ganges] flood comes, he goes to the Chakra Building. No problem. He is not
extremely about the taste of the prasada. He is simple.

But an upakurvaana get married. Why? He does it so that he can realize that
maya is painful and that only pure KC is bliss. The goal of the upakurvaana
is thus the same as that of a naisthika: to realize Krsna and develop
detachment from maya. And for that he goes through the grhastha asrama and
then vanaprastha asrama and comes to this realization. Actually this is the
goal of the entire daiva varnasrama: to become detached from maya and
attached to Krsna.

Now I shall tell about the Second Level of Brahmacarya. This is the Second
Class brahmacari. He thinks that brahmacari means a piece of orange cloth.
Even though he is in the Orange Club, he still is after pleasures of the
material world. Either he stays in the brahmacari asrama and tries to enjoy
the facilities there (he is very choosy about the T-shirt that he wears or
the sun glasses or about the prasadam unnecessarily) or he gets attracted to
a girl and marries her seriously thinking that he will be fully happy being
in a lady's association. He is just bewildered due to maya. He has heard the
Veda (sravana) but he has not understood it (manana or jnaana).

Now one thing we should understand is that the upakurvaana has understood
that maya is painful but not realized it whereas the Second Class Orange
Club Member has not understood it (what to speak of realizing it!).

Now let us see what happens when a Second Class brahmacari gets married and
compare it with what happens when a First Class Upakurvaana brahmacari gets
married.

Our Second Class brahmacari gets attracted to the girl and falls into the
deep dark well. But he imagines that there are nice fragrant lakes with blue
water lilies and parks and entertainment in the deep dark well. When he hits
the rockbed, thud! "What happened? I married a beautiful sweet girl but who
is this in front of me?" he questions after a few years. "Why is there so
much problem in life?" Then he may come to another great conclusion.
"Actually there is absolutely no problem in me. The problem is in the girl
whom I married. Better let me get another one. Then things will be
smoother." And so he gets another, and another. [Maharaja says: I have seen
this. I am not exaggerating.] And this Grhastha life is called Second Class
Grhastha life.

The upakurvaana, on the other hand, doesn't get up from bed one fine
morning, go to the bathroom and while brushing his teeth, tell his
reflection, "You have to get married, you know!" No. He knows that he is
going to enter a deep dark well. Therefore he also prepares for it
realistically in such a way that he can keep KC as his first essential
priority and maintenance of house, wife and children as his secondary but
very important priority. This is because he has already heard from the
teachings of the acaryas that these are called gauna-bhakti or secondary
supportive practices in devotional service, to take care of his Vaisnavi
wife, etc. But the primary practices take prominence. He knows that the
problem is his mind, his wife's mind and so on. He knows that pure
devotional service to Krsna is the only solution. He understand that there
is no real security in his household or, for that matter, anywhere in the
material existence. And both the husband and wife focus on service to Krsna,
devotee association, hearing the SB, etc., which are called mukhya-bhakti.
Thus they gradually develop realization that only pure KC is worthwhile and
that maya is painful. This is a First Class Grhastha.

Now the girls also can be categorized into First Class and Second Class. A
First Class girl likes to get married to someone who was a First Class
brahmacari (upakurvaana). She knows that he is trying to advance in
spiritual life. She assists him as a dharma-patni (religious wife) in both
his primary bhakti and secondary bhakti. And she hears (sravana), she
develops understanding (manana) and she also realizes (upalabdhi). [Here
Maharaja cites an experience he had in Eastern Europe, "Once I was talking
to a Brahmacari who was thinking of getting married. There was also a
grhastha couple sitting while this brahmacari was talking to me. After some
time, she said, "I shall talk to him about this." And she talked the
brahmacari out of marriage. This is because she has the realization."] So
women also develop realization if they follow the proper procedure.

The Second Class girl, on the other hand, is more interested in saris and
lip sticks [later, after the class, Maharaja added "She also melts the
brahmacaris with her attire while she walks by them"]. She is not really
into spiritual realization and developing material detachment. She has heard
(sravana) but no understanding (manana). Now something very interesting
happens when a Second Class girl and a Second Class brahmacari marry: she
mashes him up like a mashed potato sabji.

So the First Class Grhastha and his First Class wife, after 20 years of
living together come to the natural conclusion that the whole endeavor of
pursuing pleasure in the material realm is just worthless. They realize that
the only times when they were really happy was when they were relating on
the devotional platform. Therefore they realize that there is substantial
pleasure only in devotional service and not in the illusion of maya. They
then take up Vanaprastha and later on the man takes up sannyasa.

This brings us to the fourth stage of education which is to teach others for
their benefit based on realization and that is sannyasa. The naisthika
brahmacari naturally comes to this stage and the upakurvaana also after
passing through the Grhastha asrama.

In Vedic culture realization and not the asrama is considered foremost. So
compared to the millions of lifetimes of being in material existence, 25
years of going through the grhastha asrama to understand the nature of
devotional service and maya side by side is worthwhile for the upakurvaana.

The brahmacaris should not be attached simply to the orange cloth and grit
their teeth thinking "No marriage! No marriage!" and consider that the goal
of their brahmacarya is merely to avoid getting married. This is not KC.
This is thinking of what the other brahmacaris or grhasthas will think about
them when they get married. This is our Second Class Brahmacari attitude.
The issue for the brahmacaris is not just whether the brahmacari is to marry
or not; the issue is whether they can be come up to the stage of realization
(upalabdhi) via brahmacarya itself or through a responsible Vaisnava
grhastha life. That is what has to be considered. The First Class
Upakurvaana Brahmacari doesn't mind getting married to a First Class girl
who will help him understand that this dark well is totally useless and that
he should focus his mind on the Lord.

So everyone (the brahmacaris, the grhasthas, the women) has to come to the
First Class platform. They should not remain in the Second Class platform.
Then they will be able to make tangible advancement in spiritual realization
and become detached from maya. Otherwise the much talked about "social
development" in ISKCON is impossible if it is not conducted on the platform
of detachment and spiritual realization.

The Second Class Brahmacaris and Second Class Grhasthas fight with each
other. The former tell the latter, "You are all in maya". The latter
respond, "C'mon. We know. You are *also* in maya. Just be honest and get
married." ... and so on.

First Class Grhasthas have respect towards naisthika and upakurvaana
brahmacaris. Indeed, if that respect towards the renounced ashrams is not
there, then how is it possible for them to leave the grhastha asrama and
take up vanaprastha? How will they approach something they don't have
respect for?

No one should criticize another but everyone should be helped. Everyone
needs help. And help means to assist in upgrading from Second Class to First
Class. In that way, everyone can attain to the lotus feet of Krsna.